Children’s Right, Parental Alienation and Father’s Rights

While I was campaigning against the Children’s Referendum in 2012, I was in a small town in Cork, Ireland handing out leaflets to people on the street. As I walked through an alley I noticed a man in obvious distress. I asked him if he was ok and he shrugged me off. I could see tears in his eyes and he was out of breath. I persisted and eventually went to a cafe and had coffee.

He proceeded to tell me he had just seen his 8 year old son who just got off the bus. To most men this would be a joyous occasion, but not for “Niall”. He ran as fast as he could to get away from his own child. He explained that there was a barring order in the Family Court, and he could end up in jail for seeing or even acknowledging his own child. Believe it or not “Niall’s” story is not uncommon.

To me, this was child abuse sanctioned by a judge. “Niall” was an alcoholic, and not a recovering one. He had made some bad life-choices, but he also told me of abuse he suffered as a child. He seemed sober and well mannered during the hour or so I spoke to him. I wondered, why couldn’t he see his child every week on condition that he is sober and well behaved? I’m sure it might give “Niall” the encouragement he needs to get sober, but more importantly, his child’s right to a father would be fulfilled, and the child would more likely have a better outcome in life as a result of having a father.

I gave a talk to a Father’s Rights Group years ago, and I told them that for years, they have been doing this all wrong.  Nobody seems interested when fathers are denied a right to see their child. I suggested instead, that if fathers said; “my child is being denied a human right to a father“, that people would listen. We’ve taken the exact same argument, but now we are reporting a case of Child Abuse.

Nobody can deny that fathers are hugely important to children. When you are a child you need to believe that your parents are super-humans, because your very survival depends on it. Scientific studies have shown that children have better Life Outcomes when raised by both parents and extended family. Many famous people were raised by fathers alone and became successful. I don’t need to mention mothers because their ability to raise and nurture their child has never really been in doubt.

Many fathers who are denied a right to a relationship with their child commit suicide. Imagine this from the perspective of the child. “Niall’s” child probably believes his father hates him, and is being systematically alienated from him.

When a child or a parent dies, there can be some kind of “closure”. No parent should ever have to grieve for a child who is alive. Equally, no child should have to grieve for a living parent. Alienating a child from a parent is Child Abuse. Psychologists are beginning to learn and realise that Parental Alienation is a very unique pathology and has life-long effects. We also know now that “Sadistic Parenting” can lead to Murder-Suicide of the children involved. In Ireland, a colleague warned authorities in many cases and predicted dire outcomes, only to be ignored and brushed aside. One case in particular that resulted in the death of a father is now being investigated.

Parental Alienation is Child Abuse. In a growing number of countries, legislation has been passed making it a crime to deny a child their Human Right to a relationship with both parents. Judges are learning now and granting custody to the parent who will allow a relationship with both sides of the child’s biology.

So you see folks, Children’s Rights and Fathers Rights are one in the same thing. Fathers groups are now getting behind Parental Alienation Groups to educate people on this unique form of child abuse and are pushing governments to enact legislation. Parents who have been systematically alienated from their children by secret courts.

At the age of 18 many of these children are dumped on the streets by Foster “Carers” and left to fend for themselves. Having been alienated from their parents over a period of years, they grow up thinking that they are not loved or wanted. When I talk to “Cared For” children, they wonder why their parents didn’t come and take them home, and why they didn’t fight harder for them. When I talk to their parents I find broken people who were left bankrupt and damaged and who fought until they had no more to give. So many of these parents and their children are at far higher risk of suicide or the descent into addiction. I always tell parents that win or lose, you want to be able to look your child in the eye at age 18 and be able to say that you did everything you could to fight for them.

Most parents affected by this are gagged by the system, in fact gagged twice, once by the courts that they cannot say anything to anybody of what occurred, and once again by social workers that if they fight the system, their relationship with their child will be terminated. As someone who is not affected by this, it is my duty as a human being to help and speak up for others who are gagged. I need your help.

We need to educate people that children are in danger in State “Care”. Despite the best efforts of the many good people in the system, the system is doing more harm than good. Please help me by getting the book read by as many people as possible. Buy a copy and hand it to a judge, politician or donate a copy to your Public Library.  Parents who are alienated from their children should join their local Parental Alienation Organisation and become involved. Children are depending on you.  You can buy the book on Amazon from this link.

Joe Burns